Exhausted woman at desk

The Burnout Trap: Are You Really in Control?

 

Most high achievers take pride in being strong, capable, and in control. You’ve worked hard. You’ve followed the rules. You’ve pushed through exhaustion because that’s what success demands.

But despite all your effort, do you still feel like you’re barely keeping it together?

In a world that glorifies hustle culture and non-stop achievement, we’ve been conditioned to believe that working harder, pushing further, and forcing things to happen means we’ll have control over our career, life, and ultimate success.

Yet, this illusion of control is one of the biggest contributors to burnout.

Because the truth is, we can’t control everything. Despite our best attempts to do what we are “supposed” to do, there’s no guarantee our efforts will be rewarded in the way we expect. And ironically, the harder we grind, the less control we actually have.

Because real power doesn’t come from force. It comes from knowing when to take action and when to surrender, when to steer and when to let go.

The Two Extremes That Lead to Burnout

We all have goals, dreams, and desires. It’s natural to work toward them with dedication and effort. But when we internalize the belief that effort alone dictates success—that if we just do more, we can make everything work out—problems arise.

We get stuck in one of two extremes:

  1. The Overachiever Syndrome: The Hustler Who Won’t Stop

Meet Sarah. She’s the go-to person at work. The one who stays late, takes on extra projects, and prides herself on being “on top of everything.” She believes that if things aren’t going her way, she just needs to work harder, push more, and make it happen—at any cost.

But behind closed doors? She’s exhausted. She can’t relax. She feels guilty when she’s not productive. And no matter how much she achieves, it never feels like enough.

  1. The Resignation Mindset: The One Who’s Given Up

Then there’s James. He used to have big dreams, but after years of setbacks, he’s convinced that nothing will ever change. His job, his relationships, his financial situation—he feels trapped. He believes he has no control at all, so why even try?

Instead of taking action, he disengages. He scrolls mindlessly through his phone, watches life pass by, and tells himself that this is just how things are.

Neither extreme is true, but both lead to exhaustion. And the longer we subscribe to these beliefs, the more they shape our reality.

Burnout Behavior #1: The Controller (aka The ‘Bully’)

When we believe we can force things to happen, we focus all our energy outward. We try to control people, outcomes, and situations—forgetting that our real power lies within.

Even when intentions are good, this type of control is exhausting—to us and to those around us. It leads to:
✔️ Micromanagement (because no one else can do it “right”)
✔️ Perfectionism (because mistakes feel like failure)
✔️ Frustration (because things rarely go exactly as planned)

It also disconnects us from joy and spontaneity because we’re too busy managing every detail. And ironically, by trying to force control, we actually lose it. We become reactive, chasing validation and external success instead of fueling our own inner stability and purpose.

Burnout Behavior #2: The Resigned (aka The ‘Victim’)

On the flip side, when we believe we have no control, we disengage. We stop trying, feeling powerless to change our circumstances. Instead of navigating life’s challenges, we allow ourselves to be tossed around by them.

This behavior is just as damaging as over-controlling. It can manifest as:
Learned helplessness (“What’s the point? Nothing I do makes a difference.”)
Avoidance (putting off hard conversations, staying in unfulfilling situations)
Emotional exhaustion (feeling drained, stuck, and resentful)

Over time, this mindset reinforces the belief that we’re stuck, fueling even more burnout.

The Solution: Conscious Control & Defensive Driving

The key to overcoming burnout is balance. It’s not about controlling everything or giving up—it’s about taking conscious control.

Think of it like defensive driving:
You are the driver of your own life.
You can’t control the road, but you can steer with awareness.
You can’t prevent every obstacle, but you can prepare, adapt, and respond wisely.
You decide when to accelerate, when to slow down, and when to take a detour.

When you shift into this mindset, you reclaim your power—not through force, but through intentional action.

Taking Back the Wheel

Burnout isn’t just about working too hard—it’s about feeling out of alignment with your own power. To shift out of exhaustion and into resilience, ask yourself:

Where am I forcing things that I need to let go of?
Where am I giving up when I actually have more influence than I think?
How can I take ownership of my energy, focus, and decisions?

Everyone crashes. What matters is what you learn from those crashes and how you adjust your course moving forward.

 

 

FAQs About Burnout & The Illusion of Control

  1. What are the signs of burnout?

Burnout symptoms include chronic exhaustion, loss of motivation, emotional fatigue, and feeling stuck or unfulfilled in your career or personal life.

  1. Can burnout be reversed?

Yes! Burnout recovery starts with recognizing toxic hustle culture, shifting your mindset, and learning to balance control and surrender in your daily life.

  1. Why do high achievers struggle with burnout?

Many high achievers suffer from The Overachiever Syndrome, where they believe success comes from working harder. But true power comes from strategic effort, mindset shifts, and sustainable energy management.

 

Ready to Break Free from Burnout?

If you’re tired of feeling exhausted and out of alignment, let’s change that. Book your free burnout recovery consultation today and take back control of your energy, career, and life.

https://calendly.com/loras-schedule/is-it-burnout-or-betrayal

The road ahead is yours to navigate. Let’s make it one worth driving.

 

Picture of Lora Cheadle, Burnout Recovery Expert

Lora Cheadle, Burnout Recovery Expert

Lora Cheadle is a Colorado-based speaker/trainer, attorney, and coach who shows business professionals and their teams how to break free from burnout and find the personal and professional satisfaction they crave. Her 5-step framework to recover from burnout is unique because it allows professionals to uncover and connect to their beliefs and expectations, so they can speak up and advocate effectively for themselves and what brings them internal satisfaction.

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